


Ruined smile.

by MissJCM



Category: Shameless (TV), Shameless (US)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-08
Updated: 2013-05-08
Packaged: 2017-12-10 19:54:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/789538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissJCM/pseuds/MissJCM
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mickey's diary.<br/>Read it and hopefully you won't regret it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ruined smile.

**Author's Note:**

> Between "..." are thoughts he had when it happened.

I was walking down the street when I saw him for the first time. Well, not the FIRST time, I've seen him around the neighborhood and school. I'm like a year older than him. But that was the first time I SAW him. The first time I realized how his hair was so red and how tall he was. That was the first time I couldn't look away. I was just walking down the street with my brothers and he was there, laughing with his little sister, she was a redhead too. They were so happy, I never saw anyone smile so wide. I must have been staring because he looked up at me and in a flash he took his sister by the hand and walked away. I am a Milkovich, everyone runs from us, it wasn't anything I didn't expect.

He never left my mind, and I think I might have stared at him everytime I saw him. I think I started seeing him more, maybe I noticed him more, or maybe I made sure I saw him more. He was always smiling. That always botehred me. Why did he smile so much? here, on the southside, no one should smile that much.

My sister acused him of rape "oh man. I'm gonna have to beat the shit out of him". That was all I could think. He was so perfect... I mean, so not ruined. yeah, that's what I mean. He was so not ruined and I felt bad having to ruin him. But he hurt my sister and, just like he protected his sister from me, I had to protect mine from him. He managed to get away though. She cleared his name and I felt glad I didn't have to brake him anymore. 

He came to my room, he actually confronted me, a Milkovich, maybe he's more than I thought. He protected his sister and walked away, but now that he was alone and had no one depending on me he actually confronted me. We fought "Holy fuck this boy can fight", my mind was going 300 miles an hour and then he was underneath me and things happened, I don't know how, but they did. Now what, my dad almost caught us, he's suposedly dating Mandy and I'm having booty calls, has he calls them, with him, the fire hair boy. 

I got shot, I went to juvie, but he was still there. I hurt him so much, I really did. He was amazing and perfect, and his time I meant to say that. He was my Gallagher. My perfection. He was fucking some old bastard and he seemed happy around him, I beat the fucker up and he run away with me. That was a good day. He wanted more, maybe I did too. Fuck. "just kiss him". And I did. Oh, how I liked that kiss. But then we got caught and I got married, but I fucked and kissed him again. I missed him. 

Now he's gone, he left. And all I want his to take back time and tell him not to go. Why was I such a pussie?! I wanna kiss him and hold on to him to never let go.

I know now why he smiled so much... He enjoyed life. He cherished the good things, the happy moments. He tried to smile at the good stuff and run away from the bad. I realise now I did ruin him. All I didn't want to do I did. I ruined him. I made the bad things so big and always present that he had to go and enlist in order to run away from them. 

Am I really the reason why he didn't smile anymore? Did I really ruined him?

 

***

 

-What are you reading?

-I'm ... just remenbering the old times. Something I wrote a while back and I was just answering my own questions.

-Oh Really?? let me see... Maybe I can help...

 

 

***

 

-I love you!

-You do?

-yes. And don't worry, I'm not ruined. You actually put me back togheter.

-I did?

-yes! you did. I used run away from the bad things, but you made me face them and now when I smile... it's for real.

-I love you too.

 

***

 

I guess I didn't ruin him like I thought I did. I made him better. That's what he tells me... I hope it's true. Because if it's not then I am really selfish for not letting him go. We have been togheter for 5 years now, togheter for real, we left Chicago. We live in New York, we have great friends and great jobs. I'm a writter, he's a teacher... I hope he's happy. I hope he will never want to run away again. I love him, I ruined him, and I'm putting him back togheter again.


End file.
